One Foot In, One Foot Out...

This was sent to Mom from Job, Jeff's awesome nurse in California who became a great friend.

INTO HEAVEN'S BRIGHT LIGHT

He lies quiet, restless now and then, has one foot here and one foot within.
That bright light calls to him, “son, come on through”, but one side is touched by the loved ones he knew.
He fights for his life so Honest and Pure, but he has fought a good fight and we know there’s no cure.
Loved ones have told him it’s okay to let go, though their hearts say, he can’t, I lo...ve him so.
Morning's bright light he will see no longer, but heaven's bright light he will hold onto.
The light grows brighter every moment that goes by, and now he sees angels in his glazed over eyes.
When he makes that first step into heaven so bright, he will feel no more pain as he walks into the light.
He feels the Angels as they take his sweet hands, a feeling of peace that he so demands.
Free from all worry, free from all pain, free from all the things that earth could give him.
From Heaven's Gates he now looks down to see us from above, while wearing his crown.
We miss him a lot, though we know it was right, to just let him go and walk into the light.

I will always remember you Jeff.

Your brother and friend
Job

Thank you for those kind words of comfort Job.  You have been amazing and any patient lucky enough to be under your care is truly blessed.

Jeff's condition has changed.  This morning we all woke up to him looking the most peaceful he has since he arrived here.  Then his breathing became a little more labored again.  The doctor came to examine him and he said he found pneumonia starting in his left lung.  This explains the congestion sound we hear when he breathes.  He also had a temperature of 108* this afternoon.  The doctor said that could be due to the pneumonia and it could also be his brain controlling the temperature. 

Jeff's breathing has also changed.  This afternoon his breathing fluctuated.  About every 4 minutes he would stop breathing for 30-45 seconds.  The in between time has decreased over the last hours.  He is becoming closer to letting the foot in this world slip into the light.

At this time we are asking for visitation to be limited to immediate family.  Thank you all for your prayers of peace and comfort. 

Our Hero

Yesterday morning they put Jeff on a continuous drip of his Ativan and morphine to keep him most comfortable. He was waking up more often, probably getting used to the amount of medication he was being given. The constant up and down he was going through was obviously wearing him out. He has been much more comfortable since the drip has been placed. He is not really waking up anymore.

 
 The VA came at 4 o'clock to perform a pinning ceremony.  We notified family to come. It was short and sweet. A uniformed gentleman came into the room, pinned a flagged to his pillow and read a statement thanking him for his service to our country. We are so honored to call Jeff our Marine, our Hero. We then spent some time singing some of Jeff's favorite praise and worship songs to him followed by open prayer. Jeff knew how he was being honored and respected, he would not let go of my hand and would periodically squeeze.

 

We were again blessed with dinner and refreshments. The support and help has been and is continuing to be,what gets us through. We thank you again!  Last night his color was great, even

better than when we were in Kentucky. His breathing was so low and faint that they could only be counted with a stethoscope. This morning at about 5 am he started breathing very hard and fast. They administered more morphine and when that didn't seem to settle him they put an oxygen tube in his nose. His color and temperature are changing so we are here by his side. He will periodically stop breathing for 30-55 seconds at a time. He will soon be at peace with our Lord. He will be running into Jesus' arms, cancer free and joking just like his old self. These visions is what keeps us going. We just want him to be at peace, no more suffering for our handsome marine. Please pray for his peace, for his comfort.

We are also asking that visiting end at 8pm. We love you all so much but need a couple hours of

down time and private family time. Thank you for your continued prayer and support. With that, I will leave you with some of our favorite Jeff memories!

Holiday Hospital Stay

     Last night Grandma Rands, Aunt Debbie, Aunt Kelli and I stayed at the hospital with Mom and Jeff so Dad could feel comfortable about going home for some much needed rest.  The awesome nurses graciously gave my Mom an empty room down the hall with 2 beds.  We insisted Mom get some rest as well, so Kelli and her went to lay down around 11 or so.  We held down the fort until Kelli came in at about 4:30 to relieve me for some rest as well.  I woke up around 8 and let Mom stay asleep to check on things.  Dad was already there and Mom shortly followed.  Jeff started to wake up and we all comforted him, the nurse came in to ask if we needed her to administer his medication but he had settled and was peaceful at that time.  We asked her to wait, in a matter of minutes he was back up and could again not see or hear.  He became very confused and frustrated.  We prompted the nurse to now give him his meds ASAP and the episode lasted a bit longer.  We have come to the conclusion that every 2 hours, almost on the dot, he needs the medication to keep him calm.  Kelli had done some research and it turns out the sedative he is receiving keeps the swelling in his brain down. This allows his vision and hearing to somewhat return.  However, when it wears off he panics from the lack of hearing and sight. 
     The rest of the day went quite well.  He would sometimes wake up in mid-sedation and see and talk to us.  He looked right at Mom and Dad and said there names and smiled.  He also recognized Grandpa and Grandma! 
     I can not stress to you all how well the nurses and staff have taken care of us.  Jeff's brother-in-law, Justin had asked his night nurse if we could bring Jeff's dog Cody in to help comfort him.  That dog means the world to him.  She said she needed to check with someone first and she would let him know.  His morning nurse came in and said "bring him in"!  Justin brought Cody up and set him by Jeff.  Jeff knew right away he was there and woke up.  He smiled so bright it lit the room.  Cody would come up and lick his face.  It was the sweetest thing!  I know we can thank all the prayers for how well our day went today.  As emotional as it was, we have had some great times with Jeff today.  Just being able to hear him say our names and respond to us, many times in life we take these simple things for granted.  Jeff's niece and nephew came to love on him as well and he lit right up again.  No matter how he has felt, he has always been the strongest for the kids in his life.
We are truly thankful for the amount of love and support we have been surrounded by during this time!
     While typing this blog Tonya called me as she was leaving the hospital.  Jeff was doing even better than before!  His favorite thing to drink has been Strawberry Ensures so the nurse was grabbing him one just before I left this evening.  Apparently he drank 1.5 of them and was over the moon about it.  He was looking and responding to everyone in the room and kept telling Mom "thank you" over and over again!  He said with a big smile and a thumb's up that his "belly was full"!  Here's to another great and peaceful day tomorrow!

A Fork in the Road

This weekend we joined much of our extended family at the Getaway Up North.  This is an annual gathering and Jeff really wanted to go and see everyone.  Bob and Patti's great friends, Ken and Laurel let them borrow their large trailer to stay in so that Jeff could be more comfortable and private when needed.  This truly was a blessing so a huge shout out to them!  The weekend started great.  He was very happy to see everyone and spend time with the family.  His Aunt Kelli had brought him an old Lazy Boy to sit in by the fire.  He looked like he was on his thrown!  The first night was pretty rough for them.  Jeff was confused about his surroundings and would gasp for breath.  He calmed down after a few hours and Dad had prayed with him.  He then went to sleep and so did everyone else for a few hours.  The next day went very well.  He got up late morning, had something to eat and relaxed in the Lazy Boy under the tree.  He took a good nap and woke up suddenly to use the restroom.  Once he had eaten we asked him if he would like to go for a golf cart ride.  He perked right up and agreed.  We snapped this photo just before our venture….

 

 

He really enjoyed our ride, even with crazy driver Aunt Kelli!  He then went back to his thrown around the fire pit.  He was so awesome talking to Dad and us.  He kept asking if we were ok, if we were fine.  He was and always has been more concerned about the ones around them than himself.  He then was telling Aunt Kelli that he was going to close his eyes.  He said “but its ok, I want to so don’t freak out,” still the joker he always had been.  He then went to bed for another rough night.  He was up most of the night again.  Whether he wanted something to eat or had to use the restroom or just talk, they didn’t get much sleep that night either.  They finally got some rest in the early morning so they didn’t get up and out until late morning.  When they had gotten something to eat they decided to get Jeff up because they wanted to keep him up more on Saturday to get his days and nights back on the right track.  When we went in to get him out of bed he was very confused and hardly responsive.  His cousin Jimmy was able to carry him into Grandpa and Grandma’s trailer to eat and take his pills.  This is when we found out that his hearing and eyesight were completely gone.  He was quite confused when we were trying to feed him, give him his pills and something to drink.  He couldn’t hear us when we would tell him what we were doing, he spit everything out.  He then fell asleep on the inside Lazy Boy and throughout the day he would wake up and vomit. 

We decided to call his doctor to see if/what we could do.  She instructed us to take him straight to the ER.  We loaded him up and were on our way, his doctor called the ER docs ahead of time so that they were prepared for his situation.  They were able to get an IV in him and administer some pain medication to make him more comfortable.  He rested very well when they kicked in.  At this time we are keeping him as comfortable as we can until he is moved into the Hospice facility.  Our goal was to have him comfortable to get him home; this is what he really wanted.  Bringing him to the facility is the best choice for him right now because he can wake up very confused and he is REALLY strong!  We are asking for prayers for his continued comfort.  He is being very well taken care of and we just want him to be at peace and not worry.  He is such an amazing and strong man!  Thank you for your continued prayers for comfort and your support!

He is at Mercy Health in Muskegon.  At this time we are asking that visiting times be limited to 1 hour.  We have noticed that too many people and commotion seems to agitate him quite a bit more.  There are times when we really think he can see/hear us and we just don’t want anything to upset him.  Again, thank you all so very much, he needs the prayers for peace now more than ever.

The Arms That Hold The Universe

Arms That Hold The Universe - 33 Miles
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=HGCHecATSGs

  It is with a heavy yet thankful heart I give you the news we have received.  First of all, what are we thankful for?  We are thankful for all of the love and support we have been receiving, for all the thousands of prayers that have been sent for Jeff and our family.  We are thankful for our faith, without faith in God and his plans I'm not sure how some get through things like this.  We are also thankful for Jeff's strength and perspective on the whole situation.  Jeff is the strongest willed person I know and may ever know.  He truly is a great example of God's grace and love.  With that being said, I will get into the results as read by the doctors.

   Jeff and family met with Dr. Mommoser yesterday afternoon.  The answers were startling.  In the previous post I informed you they had found a new mass where his original tumor resided.  Upon further analysis they found another mass, deeper in his brain.  We were informed that surgery is not a viable or useful option at this point.  The tumor board met today to evaluate if radiation was an option or if anything else was.  Without treatment, doctors said it could be a matter of weeks to months.  With radiation, maybe an extra couple months; no longer than six.  They left the doctors office and stopped for food on the way home.  At the restaurant, Jeff had expressed that he really does not want to go through treatment anymore.  He wants to be able to enjoy the time he has left.  We wanted to make sure this was his true decision.   You see, with Jeff's condition he sometimes says things he doesn't mean or says things he does not remember.  We decided to wait until we heard back from the tumor board to get a true decision made.

   This afternoon everyone came to my house to talk things over.  On the way, Dad received a call from the board.  Turns out there are even more tumor areas than previously thought.  He said radiation was an option but it will be the hardest he has ever had with it.  His symptoms would be worse than ever.  We sat down and asked Jeff if he remembered what was discussed yesterday, he did for the most part.  Dad informed him what the tumor board had concluded and Jeff again stressed he did not want to be sick.  He simply said it was up to God.  He has a tremendous amount of strength and composure!  We support his decision 100%.  As hard as it may be for us, we want what he wants.  It seems the only thing he is really concerned about is disappointing us, we stressed several times that we stand behind his decision. 

   God must need him more than we do.  I've been thinking maybe he needs a good comedian by his side.  We all know Jeff will be great at that!  It helps knowing he is at peace.  We ask for your continued support and prayers for Jeff.  Seeing how strong and understanding he is shows just how much our prayers for his strength are being answered! 
Thank you all...

Earlier today, reading to his nephew Dylan

Update on Jeff

We had such a great time on vacation with the family.  Living on the water was truly blissful.  Jeff did really well on the vacation.  He got a lot of good rest and he ate really well.  The first day of the trip we met at a rest area on the highway.  We said a prayer for safe travels and went on our way to get some breakfast.  When we stopped at Big Boy, Jeff started telling us about a new symptom he was having.  He was having double vision.  He could just about see 2 of everything unless he was really close to what he was looking at.  When he covered his right eye it got better.  From there we decided to get him some eye patches so he could better enjoy himself.

I would love to tell you more about our wonderful vacation but right now I need to update you on Jeff's condition.  Mom called his doctor yesterday afternoon on the way home from Kentucky to inform him about his new symptoms and the fact that Jeff had a seizure on Friday morning while we were getting the houseboat back to port.  Due to his condition, Dr. Momosser at UofM wanted Jeff to have an MRI as soon as possible.  We had a scheduled appointment on Monday, August 19 but he did not want to wait until then.  UofM and Muskegon were both booked with appointments so they were told to bring Jeff to the ER in Ann Arbor to get him in. 

Mom and Dad then headed that way from Indiana and checked in the ER at about 10pm or so.  He did not get his MRI taken until about 2am and they had the results read to them by a neurologist close to 5am.  They were informed that the MRI showed another mass growing in the spot of the original first tumor.  The tumor board needs to meet to see if they can do surgery or radiation or what their best plan of action will be.  That is all we know for now.

Jeff was able to be discharged from the hospital and they are on their way home now.  We will not know more until after the tumor board meets.  We are asking for your continued prayers for Jeff's doctors to come up with the best plan of action for Jeff.  We are believing in a miracle!  Our God is great and we ask you to believe with us!  Thank you for your continued prayers and support!  I will keep you updated as I get information!

A Little Update

   We have had a good and busy summer thus far, hopefully you have as well!  Just over a week ago we stayed in Hesperia at our Grandparent's place for our annual "Girl's Week"  well "Girl's Week + Jeff" ;).  It was hot but we had a great time.  In fact even Jeff thought it was hot and if you know Jeff, that says a lot!  He keeps his room about 90 degrees! 

Jeff & Makayla

Owen, Jeff & Makayla @ Spanky's!

  


















    Jeff is doing well, no real change in his condition except for his weight.  He has had a difficult time eating and sometimes keeping food down, we think a lot has to do with his Chemo treatment.  He really needs to eat better to keep his strength up, your prayers for this would be greatly appreciated!  He has been taken off of Chemo treatment until after his next MRI which is scheduled for Monday, August 19.  We are hoping that a break from the Chemo will build his strength and appetite!
  
   In just one week Jeff is blessing us with a vacation to Lake Cumberland, Kentucky.  We are going to a cabin for 2 nights and on a houseboat for 4 nights on the lake.  We are so excited to have this special family time!  What better way to spend it than living on the water ;)  My goal while we are on this vacation is to blog every night about our day and any special memories we have made.  I did this while we were on vacation in Disney World as a kid and when reading it, the memories come right back. It is amazing how much you can forget when it is not written down.  Hopefully we will have internet service on the lake, if not I plan on writing and adding to the blog later!

   Thank you for your continued support and prayers!  Hopefully you are all enjoying your summer!  Much Love,
The Rands